Easter on 5th Avenue...

 

 

Carrot Envy



An impromptu photo op on 9th Avenue goes awry...

 

...when the subject--a deaf-mute cross-dresser (think about that combo for a sec', folks) who poses for donations--gets, uh, stiffed by an iPhone shutterbug who skeedaddles without coughing up any coin for services rendered.

Yes, son, that is how we roll...

 

Shoot and Run Victim





"It's not delivery.  It's DiGiorno."

 

Oh, but it is delivered.  To supermarket coolers.  By guys like this one unloading his truck on 8th Avenue.  (Note: The DiGiorno and Haagen Dazs brands are both under the same parent company umbrella, Nestle)

 

Here's hoping their pizza crusts rise higher and better than this sartorially-challenged schlub's pants.

 

No Topping





Place your bets ladies and gents...

 

 

BOOYAH!

 



Two sure signs Spring has arrived:

 

Colorful flowers inside the Macy's Flower Show tent...

 

...and florid, showy characters popping up outside.

 

Blooming Crazy



Cool it fellas, they're not real.  No, really, they're not.  For real.  Not.  Real.

 

Bosom Buddies



Meet author, Rashawn Prince.

 

For 10 bucks, you can purchase a copy of his master opus and "once you finish reading...might never be able to pass a drug test again."

 

 

Plus, as an added bonus, the back cover of the book is thoughtfully configured with "a designated area to break down your weed." 

That's right stoners (and you know who you are), no more bud crumbs on your coffee table--cleanup is a breeze.  Just whisk away those gnarly seeds and twigs into the wastebasket and you're ready to get wasted!

Can't wait for the movie version...

 

 

 The Dope On Dope

 

 



I haven't decided...

...whether this two-wheel jockey is too lazy to actually walk (in the traditional way on the sidewalk) his dog or has figured out that biking it is more beneficial (a mutual workout) for the both of them.

 

Streetwalker


Imagine that...

 

...a bar giving its customers tips.

 

Rewarding Activity



"It's like getting free parking for life."

 

Unless, of course, you park here:

 

 

Then you can just...



Tell It To The Judge

 



And they say cell phones are a distraction on the road...

 

 

Biker Boob



Spring has sprung...

 

....and so have the Squeegee Men.

 

Well, Squeegee Man anyway, this one plying his trade on 42nd Street near 9th Avenue this morning.

 

And technically he can't even be called a Squeegee Man because, well, he was cleaning car windshields without a squeegee, opting for a crumpled wad of newspaper to go along with his spray bottle filled with an unknown blue liquid.

 

The Squeegee Men were the scourge of NYC once upon a time, swarming onto motorists delayed in traffic and often demanding (extorting) money for unwanted services.  But Mayor Rudy G's "Quality of Life" campaign back in the 90's pretty much eliminated the species. 

 

With the economic downturn of recent years, however, the Squeegee Guys have been spotted more frequently and while cops will issue a summons (or more often probably just a warning), there doesn't seem to be a concerted effort to eradicate them.

 

The current mayor has more pressing priorities on his agenda to tackle at the moment...like banning oversized sodas and playing hide-and-seek with the tobacco products in bodegas.  Squeegee Men?  Soooo last century...

 

 

Clear Violation



The "Double Hail" :

 

Two people, travelling together, trying to flag down a taxi at the same time.

Just wondering...

 

Do they believe that two arms will beckon a cab twice as fast?

 

Or maybe they think that a taxi wouldn't bother to stop if only one arm is extended, drivers never having seen this rare phenomenon before, of course.

 

Perhaps though, in a Pavlov's Dog kind of way, human arms are conditioned to respond when a yellow vehicle is spotted, an upper limb unable to resist the urge to thrust itself out.

 

Better than salivating I suppose...

 

 

Armed Forces


...and so have your FedEx packages.

 

 

Pickup Service



To quote George Costanza from a classic 1992 (Season 4) episode of Seinfeld:

 

"Was it a scratch or a pick?"

 

Finger Food



Hind Sight.

 

 

Crew Call



You are what you eat.

 

 

Top Of The Morning



Passing fancy...

 

Boarder Patrol



This extemporaneous example of  "sidewalk art" probably didn't make the tour brochure...(it's a travelling exhibit, after all, locations vary)

...but hey, feel free to Hop On and Hop Off y'all!

 

Barf Bag



Oh, relax people.

 

She's Swedish for crying out loud.

 

What?  You expected an ABBA sweatshirt maybe?

 

Stockholm Syndrome

 

 



Not to perpetuate a stereotype, but...

 

Just what is it with cops and doughnuts?

 

Now technically this centurion is a security guard-type patrolling the rough and tumble Fashion District presumably to make sure the mannequins don't riot, so not a real deal copper by any means.  Still, the dude has a uni, hat and badge so in my book, close enough.

 

But the truly disturbing and egregious violation here is that he's sipping on a joe from Dunkin' Donuts while schlepping a box of Krispy Kremes...meaning he took the time to patronize not just one artery clogging doughnut emporium, but two.

 

Not for nuttin' but, his discriminating taste buds aside, that's downright...criminal!

 

 

Protect And Serve



Ever get the feeling there's a party going on and everyone's invited...except you?

 

Castoff



"The future depends on what you do today."
Mahatma Gandhi

 

 

Pale Riders

 



She's 21 years old.

 

First name, Georgia.  Middle name, May.

 

Father's name, Mick.

 

And yes, as you may have surmised, the family name is Jagger. 

She's one of seven children her uber-famous rocker dad spawned with four different women (Georgia's mum being model Jerry Hall).  One would assume his breeding days are finally kaput considering he's a grandpa now and approaching his 70th birthday in July.  However, with a prolific track record like his, never count Sir Mick out of the fatherhood game.  He's living, wheezing proof that while Rolling Stones may not gather any moss, they do roll over flower beds...

 

 

Call Me...Maybe

 



Back in the day...

 

(when Times Square still retained some real NYC grit and character)

 

...many out-of-towners found the so-called "Crossroads of the World" to be a ghastly, foreboding place to visit.

 

Now?

 

Even fake frights can't keep the tourists awake.

 

 

Times Snooze



Memo to sidewalk food vendors:

 

You may want to be a teensy bit more selective when choosing a newspaper headline to display in your establishment's window...

 

 

Unappetizing

 



Yeah, yeah, I know, I know.

 

FIT is really just an acronym for the Fashion Institute of Technology on Seventh Avenue and has nothing at all to do with fitness per se or promoting a healthy lifestyle.  So picturing some cue ball schmoe sucking on a stogie when he may be perfectly "fit" probably constitutes a bit of a stretch in the irony department.

 

Still, ya gotta wonder how many people pass this FIT sign and are prodded in a subliminal message kind of way to ponder a gym membership or remind themselves to cut back on the carbs.

 

Just sayin'...

 

 

Smoker By Design



Respect.

 

 

Thank-You, Thank-You Very Much



Double take...

 

 

Eye Raising



So ya think YOU have a tough time finding a taxi in this town?

 

Low Riders